Thoughts From The Brown Couch

Some before bed thoughts from the BC.... I try not to comparison shop my nights, but lately, it really has been feast or famine. I wish this was a ride, just so I could get off, and you can take that in as many ways as you want. Granted, a life without ups and downs would be boring, and as colorless as the air we breathe. That being the case, isn't there a middle ground of existence, something a bit more gradual without being tame? I am realyl starting to question that fundamental belief that happiness is the normal state of affairs. Of ocurse, dualistically, this also means that sadness and hurt cannot be the norm either, and tonight, that is all the comfort I think I can take.

What was today? Was it a path I walked, out the front door of my apartment, down the street, onto campus, and then back again? Or was it a chain reaction of thought and action? Or maybe it was one long running battle with fear. I don't know, but it seems ever more clear that perhaps there is a different path I could be taking, or a new thought to be thunk, or maybe nothing at all. Maybe if I sit here long enough, the world will just pass on by, and I can write poems no one will ever read, and listen to music no one will ever hear. (Have we hit Satre yet? Christ almighty, you'd think this was the gulag, and even scarier, maybe it is....)

What am I getting at? Right now, nothing. I need to think, and I hear a pretty voice calling my name...

cf